Swingers

So the end of October will represent 2 years of me djing. I've seen some funny shit it that time, that I'll update you with as time allows. One of the stranger ones was being asked to DJ sex-party night at Calgary Adult Playground, a swingers club in the industrial area. I considered it because whenever I go to Nelson B.C. to DJ, it stikes me as odd that all the girls are in swinger-type relationships, and they're ALL smoking hot. Why would it be different here in Calgary, right? Perfect opportuity came olong to scope this joint: A Friday-night customer appreciation type affair where all members are clothed and behaving (Saturdays were the REAL party-time). So I go with a friend (as if I'm going alone...) and to my dismay, there are NO 6ft tall smokeshows, NO fake tatas, NO bukake babes...nothing. Instead, a bunch of old ladies and miserable looking dudes who like looked like your friends' parents. That's when I made up mind not to do it despite the fact that the money was decent. Who wants to look at a bunch of blotchy dad-dick getting thrown around between a bunch of droopy mom-tits? Not me...not more than once, at least. Besides, I don't think they'd would have taken me after I tried to look at their top-secret rolodex of member's names anyway. It's just as well 'cause I'll never understand swingers. I don't see what the thrill is in watching your wife get drilled, and then standing there jerking off, being all, "Yeah! Get her! Fuck her! Spit in her hair!!". I suppose, one Saturday, curiosity will get the best of me, and I'll go see what all the fuss is about. I'll try to keep an open mind, but to be honest, I'll probably spend most of the night stressing about how to get that mysterious tofu-lookin' stain outta my goddamn suede socks. I'm totally a 90's kind of guy, but there's nothing that appeals to me about having to tip-toe around some anonymous local newsanchor and his glued-on mustache disguise, while he's penetrating Sig Gutsche's belly button, and getting peed on by someone who looks suspiciously like Jann Arden. In fact, was that Jann Arden? It could have been, but a gentleman doesn't piss and tell. I guess what I'm trying to say is, they walk among us and anyone who looks like one of your friends parents (and isn't) is most likely a swinger. Just so you know.



This is what I would have played at the swinger parties:


Cyber People - Void Vision