Jesse, Ricky, call me...

Tell your friends dickheads, the internet's value just went down by half. I'll spare you the customary "Here I am, world. I finally broke down and started a blog"-bullshit, because I've been wanting to do this for ages. Here's the thing that put me over:


I don't much care for hockey anymore, but I overheard people; Canucks fans no less (arguably some of the worst people on earth), complaining about how bad this new Vancouver jersey is. I couldn't disagree more. I love them. I'm going to get one. I'm going to wear one. Wanna know why? Because they look EXACTLY like some shit out of this game:



Who never played this 8bit banger? With these guys:




Of course you played it, unless you were like me and not allowed to play video games. Or a girl. At any rate, I found a way and seeing those jerseys brought back some serious memories. One in particular stands out. I remember one time when I was a kid I was over at Jesse Rocatov's place durning Xmas break with Ricky Spincaster and we were playing Blades of Steel. It was only a 2-player game, and there were 3 of us, meaning obviously one of us had to sit out. This game in particular, it was Ricky Spincaster who was a real antsy, edgy motherfucker, couldn't sit still. We were *supposed* to be keeping it down because Grandma Rocatov was upstairs resting and her health was pretty shitty. So the first period intermission rolls around and we go to the kitchen to get some raspberry ginger ale, and Ricky Spincaster has a fuckin' coniption fit when Jesse Rocatov didn't have any bendy straws, which was no good cause Grandma Rocatov was upstairs sleeping and I was scared to all shit of that old bitch. So we tell Ricky Spincaster about "shut the fuck up and drink your raspberry ginger ale.", but he won't stop bitching about the straw situation until about halfway through the 2nd period. We didn't notice that he'd kinda disappeared for a bit and when he came back, the complaining had stopped. We were stoked...for all of about 2 minutes, until Grandma Rocatov came FLYING down the fuckin' stairs screaming like an angry, senile banshee...because Ricky Spincaster has used one of her (used?!?) catheter tubes as a bendy straw.

Here's some pictures from last week's Hai Karate while you process that deranged fuckin' shit.










Dj Mel from Texas fuckin destroyed the place. Pics by Scott Lazerfangz. Go look at his page.

I guess I'll leave you with a song to cleanse your palate. I realize that if I were half as smart as any of you, I'd have left some hockey-related song, Gary Glitter or something, but I'm not, so here's one I wish they played at hockey games:


Surface - Falling in Love